I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
