Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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