will power is for people who don't want to get laid
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
