drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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