i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
