im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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