So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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