WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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