im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
