Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
