is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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