Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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