i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
