this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
