is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
