Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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