You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
did you just send me my own nude
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
