hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
