Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
