Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
