i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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