yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
