i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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