Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize