you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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