if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
