alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
FUCK WHALES
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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