Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
