Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
