belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
