I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
