I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
