They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He passed out mid-signature
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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