I smell stomach acid.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
