planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
