I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
