she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
