I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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