I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
