Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
