There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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