He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
