woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
