did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Found the puke drawer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize