i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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