She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
