shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
