dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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