quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
