So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
