if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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