Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wish i was in the wii world.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
