Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
