i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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