She announced her abortion via fbk
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sext me about skeletons
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
