That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
