i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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