Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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