I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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