yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
