Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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