WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
