Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
God, I missed his penis.
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