Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
