Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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