My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize