Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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