You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
