yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
