Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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