every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You took a bar mat shot.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
