K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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