Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
