So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize