i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your penis caused this!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
