She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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